Negativity and Leadership

by Scott Airitam

President, Scott Airitam's Leadership Systems, LLC

So, today, I'm going to challenge you to recall a specific pattern to your everyday speech to test your own communication effectiveness. Are you a "positive talker" or a "negative talker?" This not about positive or negative thinking, although there is a correlation. It is about how we talk.

A negative talker, for example, might say, "Stop slamming that door." A positive talker may say, "Close the door more lightly."

There is a huge difference here. There are two key thoughts about the human brain at play here. First, our brains think in pictures, not words. This is important because as we receive one of the previous instructions from either the positive or negative, our brain tries to create a picture of it. Second, our brains have a difficult time creating a picture of a negative statement. In fact, our brains often make "positive" pictures out of negative statements.

I'll give you an example. If a parent says, "Stop throwing the ball in the house," what picture would you think comes to the child's mind? In fact, the above statement is very likely to create a picture of throwing a ball in the house. The brain gets rid of the negative, keeping the positive, and then makes the picture. So, by phrasing it in the negative, we often reinforce the very thing we are trying to eliminate. Instead, if the parent says, "Hold the ball in the house," the picture created in the mind is one of holding the ball in the house.

Now, think about how many Leaders in organizations use negative speech to communicate their message. Sometimes, how we choose to communicate sabotages our own efforts. Moving forward, let's be specific in creating positive pictures in the minds of those we Lead and let's watch our effectiveness continue to increase!

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