The Lesson in New Year's Resolution Failures

by Scott Airitam

President, Scott Airitam's Leadership Systems, LLC

First of all, let me start out by saying that I sincerely hope that all of your new year's resolution are successfully implemented. For real.

Now, let me add that the odds are not with you. Bummer, right?

Think about past new year's resolutions. How many of them have you seen all the way through? For me, these goals represent a way of verbalizing how I want to be better in some way. There are some problems with new year's resolutions though. This is a lesson I learned years ago, and it's helped me to take on self improvement in a more a success-oriented fashion. Maybe this could help you too.

So, the problems with the old NYR...

1. They are often proclaimed without any sort of deadline.
2. They aren't specific enough.
   
3. NYRs often feel obligatory. Nobody wants to be the one in a conversation that doesn't have one.
4. We don't create a serious support system.

Each of those is a trap and the bulk of new year's resolutions fall right into one or more of them. Because of this, most of them never stand a chance from the very beginning. Without a deadline, it is easy to procrastinate or give into what's always been done instead of fighting through the discomfort of change. Unspecific goals don't describe what the "finish line" looks like. We need to know what we are working toward, right? When it feels obligatory or contrived, we don't fully own it. When we don't take it on as our own, it is easy to discard and throw away. Because most people have seen NYRs fail, they don't take them seriously anyway. So when one is proclaimed (at the same time as many other people) most let you to make the statement, but assume you are not serious about it. They do not push you through the tough times or encourage you to take that one extra step today. Instead, they leave it for you to accomplish all alone and are, usually, surprised to see a NYR completed.

So, when I am looking to improve myself, here is what I do. I really do write it down, and, I write it in the form of a SMART goal. Most people have heard of this, but for those of you who haven't, to me it means: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Framed. If I have those in place, I've covered the first two failings of NYRs and then some. I am adamant, though, about the last two of them. If it isn't relevant to where I am in my life, and doesn't seem necessary, it won't get done. I also make sure it is time-framed with a deadline and any intermediate goals I can slice up my big goal into. With it being relevant, I have covered most of the number 3 failing of NYRs, but I have to make sure I own it. In order to truly make sure it feels like my own, I never do this type of thing around New Year's Day. I don't do it then because everyone else is doing it at that same time. If I mix my serious goal setting in with many other people's throwaway goals, how will my support system know that mine is legit? I want to do this because I believe in it and want to see it done. So, I'm the guy who doesn't have a new year's resolution. But I have several improvement goals throughout each year, so I never feel bad about that. So, when I separate myself from the "everybody's doing it" timeframe, it is easier for me to generate a support system around me. When I am the only one declaring that I want to work on some aspect of me, people actually listen. Then I tell them that I want them to help me when I'm feeling weak or want to give in to old habits. People take it seriously and they do help.

There is a big difference between saying, "I want to run more to get in shape," on New Year's Day and saying, "I want to run a mile every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at lunch to improve my cardio-vascular system because I'm seeing friends/family that are having heart problems that I don't want to have," on January 24th.

At least it works for me.

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